Seeking Support From Others

The task of asking for helping and seeking support from others… Not so easy for some of us. I consider myself a strong woman, a warrior. Someone who has been through some sh*t and made it out alive and stronger. Someone who can and has “pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps” time and time again. But there are times when we slip. Fall. Stumble. Lose our footing and need some assistance to get back on the path again. 

Recently, I noticed my energy and vibration had dipped into a lower state and it felt like I’d slipped into hole. A grey area. A neighbor I didn’t want to stay in. The reason how I got there matters not so much as the as the recognition and awareness that it’s not where I would like to be. It’s not where I know I’m meant to resonate, or where I come from. Where we all come from. And when I noticed that it felt like I was trying to climb out of the hole with a spoon, it was time to reach out. Not just the random text that says, “meh, I’m just tired or funky”, but truly making a phone call or a coffee date with someone we trust and can express our challenges with. Even when we logically know what to do, it helps to verbalize it and get council from another source. Depending on the issue and its depths may determine who we reach out to, but just make the call and admit that there are turbulent seas and the raft look less stable. Extending our hand to the other and asking for support as we transition back on the path with our off-kilter’ness’. They may say things that we already know and believe, but for some reason, hearing it externally helps with it being digestible. For me, the longer I wait, the longer it takes to get back on the horse. I tend to wallow a bit longer than necessary seeking the depths and looking for the message. That concept no longer serves now. And having been through several bouts of murky waters, I don’t care to wade through the muck longer than necessary.  

Experiencing what we call “suffering” helps us to see it as the polarity of Ease and Love. I respect it {suffering},but choose to move from it with a quickness. All of this is a part of life. It’s natural. It’s also important to go through it so we can continue to grow and evolve. Each depth of “ugh” getting less severe in depth and lasting for shorter bouts of time. As someone who sees themselves as “self efficient” and not wanting/needing to “rely” on others, it’s sometimes hard to ask for help. Or there is resistance to it. Feels as if we are “weak” or unable to deal with our “stuff”. So maybe we call it, “checking in”. As I’ve become older it has become easier to ask for help and “check in”.  Maybe it’s maturity. Maybe it’s becoming more comfortable with being vulnerable with others. Maybe it’s realizing that I don’t have to feel this way and be alone in my funk. That feeling “good’ and living with a higher vibrations is my home state and when having fallen from it, feels even worse because we realize it’s not how we are meant to be! And if sharing my weakness and talking to others about my struggles helps me to recover faster, let’s do it! 

After we get back on our feet again, we may take time to look at how we got into that mind frame. What was the root cause so we can make changes. Is it a pattern that we are repeating? Is there a lesson that we need to learn? Is it just a rough patch of a few things that piggy backed on each other unexpectedly? Then after identifying the root, take initiative and do the work to resolve the issue. Sometimes we can bounce back in a relatively short time. Course correcting with a new focus and determination. In lighter bouts it may only be a matter of a few hours, a day, till we can “turn things around”. For heavier periods, it may take longer to recover depending on how long we were “fighting the fight”. Couple days? A week? Month? The length of time may also be a result of the tools we have and our own willingness to put the work in. Focusing on the steps we need to dig into and make those heavy lifts. Or maybe the “work” is to REST! The individual results will vary obviously, as does our experience with trudging thought our mental ‘mess’. 

What tools do you have to help you through this time? Some of my ‘go to’ helpers are daily meditation, Pinterest trolling though positive quotes and affirmations, reading uplifting books, music, working outside in my garden or visiting the local gardens.When I’m home, I have a couple day trips to local areas that help to clear my mind and ground my soul. Recently I found myself in a funk on tour. A bit more challenging to recover from when hopping cities and countries on a daily basis and teaching long hours. The usual methods of mental shifting were not working as powerfully. One funky day bled into two, then three. Ugh. What is this? How did I get here? And why are my normal tools not as helpful. It was a few unfortunate, unexpected events that just dominoed into a few days and then a week. Realizing the bounce back wasn’t as fast as usual I became frustrated with myself. Irritated if I’m being honest. Not to anyones fault or reason. Not at all! So I used ALL my tools to only a small increase in mental lifting and finally reached out. Admitting to myself that I needed to get this “heaviness” off my chest. Just letting it all out and not shaming myself for feeling out sorts but just admitting that I was foggy and it bummed me out! 

After making the call and having a heart filled conversation,  I could breathe a sigh of relief. And in the end, I realized that all I really needed or wanted was someone to say, “You’re doing a good job”. Not that I needed any approval or justification about anything in particular. Things just got a little bumpy. Sharing my self doubt and irritation made me realize I was just tired and had been pushing so hard for so long without giving myself a break. A pat on the back for the things that I had done. A little self hug to say, “hey you, you’re a trooper. Let’s chill for a moment”. Self acknowledgment. Self Love. Ooooohhh…..  there it is. Self Love. 

So again, I am accepting the message that for some reason I continue to learn. I am worthy. 

I’ll say it again. I AM WORTHY. YOU are worthy. WE are worthy. Take the time to honor yourself. Take the time to value your health. That includes all aspects; mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. Take the time to check in when you’re a little off your game. Take time to rest, breath, enjoy and smile. To say “I’m proud of you. You’re doing a good job”, to YOURSELF!  Maybe your journey has a different tale than mine.  A different set of challenges and circumstances to help you grow for this particular time in your life.  But just in case you need to hear it… You’re doing great. You are exactly where you need to be. You’ve been working hard and I see your effort. You’re doing great dear one. You really are. You’ve got this. Remember that you are worthy. Remember you come from Love. Remember that you are a gift. And if you every need an ear to listen…I’m here for you. 

And thank you to all who have been on this journey. All of you who have lent an ear. A hand. A tear. A hug. Thank you if you’ve read a post, shared a message or left a comment. Thank you to Life for allowing us the space to learn our lessons and continue to expand our horizons.

 Now, you’ve got this… go forth with a smile and a hug. Slow and steady. One breath at a time. The sun is always shining, always. 


Heidi CokerComment